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Twitter is free sex massage videooverrun with truly cursed images of Toad, thanks to Stormy Daniels.

Daniels went into horrific detail about sex with the president in a salacious excerpt of her new book, Full Disclosure. In an anecdote that ruined our favorite Mushroom Kingdom citizen forever, Daniels described Trump's penis as "unusual," comparing the "smaller than average" but not "freakishly small" First Dick to a "huge mushroom head."

Likening Trump's penis to a "toadstool," she writes, “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart..."

First of all, let's not disrespect Toad like that. He's in so much more than just Mario Kart!

This is Toad, by the way, depicting exactly how we all felt after reading that excerpt.

Soon after Daniels' story was released, Twitter users jumped into action to find and create the most depraved images of what Trump's penis could look like.

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Some of them are, uh, unconventional but otherwise relatively innocent, like this image of Toad protecting two Yoshi eggs while wearing a water-blasting tool.

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This could be an unfortunate Tinder bio.

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There's also this tongue-in-cheek (sorry, Toad-in-Yeti) depiction of what intercourse with Trump could look like.

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I mean, she didn't specify which mushroom character the presidential genitals looked like.

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Someone came up with this terrible couple's costume.

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We can't forget the "Toad without his hat" controversy -- at least she didn't compare it to that.

(Let it be known, though, that Toad's mushroom cap is actually part of his head.)

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These comparisons are getting kind of gross.

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I don't even know what to do with this.

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There were also these awful Photoshops based on the lurid details Daniels included in the piece.

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Last, but not least, somebody unearthed this depraved picture of our beloved Toad. Pack it up, folks. We can all go home now. It doesn't get any more fucked up than this.

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Let's just take a moment to appreciate the abounding creativity Twitter has to offer, and then collectively bleach our eyeballs.

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