【A Clockwork Orange Porn Parody XXX】

More than a year ago,A Clockwork Orange Porn Parody XXX I made the impulsive decision to delete the Facebook app from my phone.

Friends, it's been great! I like my iPhone better when there's like 80 percent less autoplay food video to stare at.

But I'm no internet purist. Deleting the app from my phone was a simple, low-lift solution to limiting my Facebook use while not seated at a computer. Facebook on desktop, though, is still my weakness, due in large part to my devotion to one of the weirdest branded pages on the internet: the official Lisa Frank Facebook page.

Why do I, an adult, follow the brand page for a company that sells rainbow cheetah print bedsheets and combination sticker/activity books? It's leftover from a childhood when I, like many Lisa Frank acolytes born in the 1990s, spent much of the school day toting my homework around in folders adorned with paintings of purple kittens sitting on rainbows.

I had the gleaming Lisa Frank stickers, I had the neon-colored Lisa Frank pencils, I had the Lisa Frank pencil cases in which one stores one's many neon-colored Lisa Frank pencils. It was wonderful, and I am eternally grateful to my patient parents and our September school supply runs.

As its young clientele has aged, the company's made an effort to keep up with them. In 2017, it launched a limited beauty collection and a line of clothes, including adult-size pajamas at Target and t-shirts at – where else – Hot Topic, the go-to source for ironic nostalgia.

But nowhere is this effort more apparent than on Facebook, where every Lisa Frank post is the bizarro version of a phrase you'd see printed on a mug abandoned in your office kitchen: "If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me"; "COFFEE is the most important meal of the day!"

Another favorite topic on the Lisa Frank page: The upcoming weekend.

In another recent example, a smiling pig, with likely zero obligations thinks to itself: "You thinking what I'm thinking? Tomorrow's Friday!"

There's one that features a rainbow unicorn flying across a rainbow sky streaked with, you guessed it, like 30 rainbows.

"Why is MONDAY so far from FRIDAY and FRIDAY so near to MONDAY!" it screams.

But the best posts to the Lisa Frank Facebook page are the ones that make...trulyno sense. "PILATES?!" shouts a polar bear wearing winged eyeliner. "I thought you said PIE & LATTES." What a fun, inexplicable mix up!

Or my personal favorite: "All I want in life is to be able to text my dog!"

I also want this, Lisa. Thank you for articulating that very specific desire.

The Lisa Frank Facebook commenters know these sugar-coated bumper sticker phrases are the company's sometimes puzzling attempt to maintain a connection to its once young customers.

"Okay, there is no way Lisa Frank is made for kids. This totally has to be targeted for our age," one commenter writes. "I def was not drinking coffee when I was putting stickers in my Lisa Frank Sticker Book," another responded.

But if Lisa Frank's 1.25 million followers are any indication, neon dolphins and hot pink kittens still speak to us on some level.

Personally, I'll accept this colorful wisdom over whatever DIY deep-fried video the algorithm thinks I'd enjoy instead.

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